dripping....

it has been a week or two. so here i am, feeling the need to write.

the notes dripped from the electric guitar, not quite coinciding with the sweat dripping from my face. heat raced through my veins as my legs moved faster, outstripping the slow paced drums. i focused more intently on the music, trying to grasp each note, but somehow the slow dripping music slipped through my fingers, much like water would if i tried to grasp it.
my heart raced faster, and it always seems like controlling my breathing was like fighting, or riding a whirlwind.

the movement seemed endless. the music wasn't. somehow, there seem to be moments with music that i try and trap inside me, much like i would a firefly, or some other insect in a jar. i seem to want to keep those moments forever...and no matter how much pressing the back button, or maybe using repeat can replay the song, i find myself scratching and clawing, wishing that moment would be trapped in my heart forever.

like watching a firefly, i can see the light of that moment fade, as it flies away...with me standing there staring in awe...time and time again. it's almost like standing on a beach, and the waves crashing in are moving away from me, and i can no longer hear, see, or feel them.

the music energized and replenished me, as much as water, the mineral of life ever would. water for my soul it was and is (the music that is). different from last night, when the music i heard was the whizzing of wheels, and the thrust of the stairmaster. last night, most of all, the music was my heart...combined with my breath, playing it's strange music to let me know i lived.
tonight...tonight however, i somehow knew i was more than alive...tonight...i knew i was eternal...my light shining more brightly than the firefly...and being eternal...i knew i never wanted to be caged in a jar...wholes poked in the lid for me to breathe... the lessons learned and relearned-live!

it has been a few days...but ame's comment about how i should be a poet still haunts me.